Humphrey lived in a house full of women,
and often was teased for it. I would ask him if he wanted his nails done and he would just sigh....
I would leave the tv on for him on sports when I left the house just to get some manly energy in his life.
We are now a house of only women.
Humphrey is no longer with us.
On Wednesday evening, he was hanging out in the front room with me when he suddenly ran out of the room. I could see him when he stopped. He looked scared, then it happened. A bigger event, whatever it was, that had him scurrying back to me. The only problem, his back legs no longer worked. He was dragging them. I got to the floor next to him and his fur was still standing up near his tail and his upper body was just quivering. His back legs had no movement at all.... It was like he had been shocked by a massive electrical bolt. I've been describing it to people like this, Humphrey had a 'Spinal Seizure.'
I sat with him just petting and comforting him for about 15 minutes to see what would happen, per experience from his seizure this past fall, but in my mind, I think I knew immediately that this was different, but my heart did not want to believe what I was seeing. He did not improve. The quivering did not end and you could see pain beginning to creep into his eyes. A call to the vet occurred next, but guess what? My normal vet was closed. It was 7pm. Emergency Vet time......
It was time to go, even if I really did not want to, but I knew I needed to....
My amazing neighbor helped me get Humphrey into the car. 80 plus pounds of Humphrey was never easy to move, but this time H could not help me at all and there was no way I could of done it alone. It was a gesture of compassion and kindness and I will be forever grateful. My mom and Bacall joined me on the drive to the Vet.
I knew before I left the house that Humphrey would not be coming back..... It is the hardest, yet the most important, part of having pets in your life. This moment of compassion. Of letting go...
You see, dogs have hearts that will not give up on you. If they have a choice, they will stay with you. They will suffer pain as long as you still love them. They will not give up.
The vet, whom I had never met, came in and agreed that there was no coming back from whatever had happened and the compassionate and right thing to do was to end his suffering.
I had one last responsibility in the gift of having Humphrey in my life....I had to let him go.
He died peacefully in my arms...
with Bacall near by.
We are now dealing with the silence of his missing presence.