Have you ever had a thought or idea that keeps getting presented to you?
It has been happening to me a lot lately, in terms of a deceptively simple question.
Are you doing something in fear?
Or out of Love?
Over and over again, I was asked that question..
and I realized something.
I had been doing something right for the wrong reason.
It was not something that was easy to admit or sit with, but it explained quite a bit. It explained why I had never been consistent for the long term and why I was having to start over once again.
I asked myself if I was doing it out of Fear? Or in Love?
Sounds simple enough right? The kicker, once you ask the question, it really is.
I was exercising out of fear.
It dominated every moment of my workouts. If I missed a workout, it meant I was wrong and made me feel guilty. It made me a neurotic mess on race day mornings, because if I did not make a certain time, I was not good enough...
For fear, it is never enough....
Love, on the other hand, accepts....
Love accepts that today you felt like going for a long walk around your neighborhood, instead of a run that you were dreading doing because you were worn out and tired. It is just happy you did something active and healthy for yourself.
Love accepts you are today. It does not require you to be 20 pounds lighter. Love does not require tight abs. Love wants you to accept yourself as you are today.
Love wants you to find a passion that goes beyond race day or whatever goal you have set. It wants you happy on race day and beyond.
Since I have been home, I have been planning my workouts out of a place of acceptance and love. I have moved a workout by a day and felt so much better for it. I went to a restorative yoga class instead of a more vigorous one and felt better for it.
The most important part of it all,
I have not felt guilt once.
I have felt love.....